I had every intention of avoiding this. Sequels are rarely good and although long threatened, this always seemed an indulgent idea. However I’d be lying if I wasn’t intrigued by the spectacle and I read earlier today that Christopher Nolan thinks it’s the best film of 2024. Surely not, but let’s see. First of all let’s not get bogged down in the historical accuracy debate. It’s obviously not, but neither was the original. Not even close. You’re not here to learn about Roman culture are you and if you are, you’ll be disappointed. A beautifully animated opening title sequence serves as a subtle reminder of Gladiator. It’s telling that you can get the gist from a few snippets of the plot. We’re now 16 years on. Rome is under the tyranny of not one Emperor, but two. Pasty petulant brats, Geta (Joseph Quinn) and a sickly looking Ed Sheeran clone, Caracalla (Fred Hechinger), but fear not, for Maximus’ son Lucius (Paul Mescal) is here to save the day. The Romans are on their way to attack Lucius, now living a new life in the “last free city”. Lead by the disenfranchised General Acacius (Pedro Pascal), the Roman assault by sea is the first spectacular set-piece. Flaming cannonballs, sword fighting mayhem, blood splatter and a bombastic score fills your ears. Blockbuster stuff. The reason for this opening salvo, is so that Lucius’ wife Arishat (Yuval Gonen), an archer, can be killed in battle to cue the revenge plot. Lucius like his father, is not a man you want to make angry. Captured, he’s branded along with his mate Jugurtha (Peter Mensah) and taken to Rome to be, you guessed it, a gladiator. Oliver Reed was the gladiator ringmaster last time, his replacement is Macrinus (Denzel Washington) who it’s fair to say is quite an upgrade. They don’t yet know who Lucius is as he’s going by the name Hanno, but they will. The CGI on Gladiator was groundbreaking. We’ve moved on a lot in the last 20 years, but it’ll be no surprise to learn that the effects here are heavy. Demonic beast like monkeys, armoured rhinos and killer sharks are all present in the colosseum. Yep, sharks. Aside that extra layer of Hollywood hype, it’s pretty much a rerun of the first film though. Lucius hates Acacius, Acacius hates the Emperors, the Emperors hate everyone, but are pretty clueless and Macrinus is really the one they should all be watching. There’s a power struggle as the senate, that includes Tim McInneny and Derek Jacobi, plan to overthrow the pasty twins and take back Rome in the name of Marcus Aurelius, with his daughter Lucilla (Connie Nielsen, the only returning cast member), who’s married to Acacius. Which is going to be tricky when she figures out who Lucius is. It’s the usual Roman power struggle, lots of people in togas plotting. Plot aside, this looks fantastic. Sweeping shots of the vast city, wonderful costume design and… the colosseum. Let’s be honest, this is what an audience wants of a gladiator film. Bonkers battles that look one-sided, in which the underdog prevails. The fight choreography is fantastic, beefed up Mescal looks impressive and the bloodlust is fulfilled easily. Dialogue-wise he’s not given a lot to work with. Washington leads the line there, but Mescal is a worthy leading man and grows in every scene. That is unless he shares it with Washington. He’s magnificent and dominates from start to finish, hero or not. Is it a great film, no. Is it a bad film, no. If you liked Gladiator, you’ll like this. Both are entertaining cinematic spectacles. Sorry Mr Nolan, film of the year is a bit far-fetched. As are the sharks.
6/10
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